I proudly wear my busy badge of honour. Busyness makes me feel productive and needed but just recently I realised that I overlooked the havoc it’s wreaking in my life. I stopped to look at whether I had missed some warning signs, I had, but I just kept assuring myself I could handle the stress and chaos.
But contrary to what many of us have been told, we can’t handle it all, nor should we have to. So how do we know when we are reaching our limits? We aren’t like the battery icon on our phones that flash red once we’re running low. But there are signs our body gives us if we’re paying attention, signs that may look different for each of us.
Sign #1: An Inability to Control Your Emotions
An inability to control our emotions and constantly feeling restless, ill-tempered, dejected, and overwhelmed are all signs that something isn’t right. Out-of-control emotions often reflect the out-of-control demands we put on ourselves. Just like how a messy room is a reflection of a messy state of mind (like my daddy always says).
Sign #2: Lack of Self-Care
People who operate at overcapacity rarely have time for self-care. I’ve often justified skipping meals because ‘I wasn’t hungry’, that was code for I was too busy to dish my food. Or making a snack and coffee my go-to meal because it was convenient, despite the fact that it made me a caffeine-crazed maniac.
I find it easier to escape online than to take action for my own health and happiness. I spend time admiring people’s life on Instagram instead of investing in my own life.
Taking care of yourself may seem selfish, but self-care is one of the most important choices you can make in your life. That’s because you can’t live the life God created you for, with space to be aware of his leading and purpose for your life, if you don’t take care of yourself.
Sign #3: Illness
There’s been this ongoing season where I simply cannot stop becoming ill. I cannot count the amount of time I have been back and forth to the doctor for them to say there was nothing wrong with me. Constant illness can be a sign of many things, and of course, you should see your doctor if you’re struggling in this area. But illness can also be your body’s warning to you that you need to make changes in your life.
Sign #4: Chronic Lateness
I’ve come to believe that chronic lateness is caused by the propensity to say yes to too many activities and to too many people. It’s an unending cycle of trying to be all things to all people. In the end, we can’t get anywhere on time or accomplish everything we say we will, and we end up disappointing everyone because it all gets too much.
How many times have we known we didn’t have the time, energy, or emotional fortitude to put one more thing on our plates? If you’re noticing it is harder and harder to get anywhere on time and to accomplish things when you say you will accomplish them, it’s probably a sign that you are over capacity.
Sign #5: Excess
When the demands of life become too much, doing things in excess is a very common response. This may take the form of obsessive exercise, too many hours on social media, or watching a lot of television instead of getting much-needed sleep. We need to ask ourselves if escaping reality just seems like an easier choice than reducing our to-do list.
Sign #6: Neglecting Important Relationships
Do any of these sound familiar?
- “You’re always busy. You never have time for us anymore.
- “This is the third time you’ve cancelled on me.”
- “You only call me when it’s convenient”
- “I’m always last on your to-do list”
Do you feel as if you are habitually letting down the people closest to you: your partner, close friends, family, and colleagues? It’s easy to feel guilty about these things. And once we start feeling just a twinge of guilt, it’s all over.
The onslaught of pressure and guilt we heap on ourselves outweighs any positive feedback anyone else gives us. When I begin neglecting my important relationships, I know I’m over capacity, and it’s time to cut back to save my relationships and to save my peace of mind.
Sign #7: Neglecting God
A huge sign that I am over capacity is when I start skipping prayer, skipping Church is not really an option as I’m a PK. When it becomes a chore to start and end my day in prayer I know I have stepped over the line and I’ve reached my capacity.
Spending intimate moments with God and having that personal relationship with him is the only thing that I can say keeps me from the brink of crazy. It keeps me centered, focused and motivated. When I slip and fall behind in this relationship I know it’s time to drop some things.
Neglecting God out of our own busyness, combined with any of the other signs are all symptoms that we are off balance. These are not things to beat ourselves up over, but they are signs we should heed so we can start breaking busy.
What are some of your personal busy signs? Let’s talk about it!