(Disclaimer: I wrote this from my perspective as a woman, but they are lessons the men out there can learn from as well!)

We can easily become too focused on being everything for everyone. We don’t seem to realise we’re working ourselves into complete exhaustion until it’s way too late. If any of you are like me, this usually results in a massive blowup, naturally comprising of a divine mixture of frustration, anger, and hopelessness…let’s not forget the tears. Trust me when I say these are not my finest moments. Trying to be the perfect woman, partner, daughter, and friend coupled with working and building my business was/is taking its toll (key words: “trying” and “perfect”).

Needless to say, I am burnt out. My relationships are suffering, and my emotional and physical health are teetering on the brink of irrecoverable damage. I am drowning under improperly placed performance, perfection, and drive. so I decided to embark on a journey to discover healthier alternatives and I’m going to share these with you and hope you take something from it.

1) Replacing performance with excellence.

Performing solely for recognition and applause from others isn’t worthwhile. Being a people-pleaser to gain acceptance is excruciatingly exhausting. Both will without doubt lead to a burnout. (I’m a testament). However, doing God-given or personal daily tasks with excellence gives us a sense of achievement and contentment that IS worthwhile. I discovered that when I fostered a culture of excellence in those areas rather than public performance, there was an element of humility that appeared and my best efforts were met with less stress.

2) Replacing perfectionism with progress.

My constant goal, is to be better than I was yesterday knowing I won’t ever be perfect (Yikes!). I want to be amenable. I once heard someone say ‘Practice makes Progress’. I was close to correcting the statement because it was obviously incorrect, then I realised the beauty of the statement instead. When we focus on constantly progressing instead of chasing perfectionism, we invite God to help us be the best versions of ourselves in order to showcase His Glory.This lightens the load and allows us to accept God’s grace and the endurance needed to finish the task at hand without our personally added burden of perfection.

3) Replacing drivenness with diligence.

I don’t want to be so driven in life and in leadership that I run through the people around me and destroy the relationships I had cultivated. I would rather possess an unwavering diligence. Drivenness diminishes our energy quickly, like a runner sprinting straight out of the gate at the start of a marathon. It doesn’t allow us to truly value and appreciate the wonder of our present journey, because we are solely paying attention to the end goal. Diligence, on the other hand, is controlled hard work without the negative connotation of winning no matter what. Diligence allows us to finish strong by smartly pacing ourselves to the end. It gives way for our schedules and tasks to breathe, which in turn, opens our eyes to seeing those around us. This then enables us the chance to encourage others, speak life into others and lead well.

On occasion, I do find myself reverting back to my perfectionistic performance-driven way of behaving and everything comes crashing down in a heap of burnout (back to phase one). The struggle is real ladies, really real, but rest assured it is not the end of the world. Learn from mistakes; stop feeling guilty; pick yourself up; love a little harder and remember that tomorrow is a new day filled with fresh mercies and grace (now break into Great Is Thy Faithfulness *hymn*). Avoiding burnout by approaching life with excellence, progress and diligence creates longevity and success in our careers, businesses and relationships.

Do your best for God, enjoy the journey and let God do the rest.