Along with the benefits of being with family over the festive season comes the potential for conflict. Whether the tension from political discussions, or the unnecessary comments and questions about our personal life, chances are most of us have had uncomfortable family situations over Christmas at one time or another. Dealing with uncomfortable family gatherings on our own is one thing, it can be even more worrying when we take that next step and bring our partner home.
The good news is that there are things that can be done to make the visit easier and allows you to enjoy the festivities.
Identify sensitive topics
Although politics and religion are often topics that should be avoided in social gatherings, this rule doesn’t apply to my family. We thrive in conversations that are controversial, however, it is not a bad idea to go over some of the topics that may be controversial in your family so that your partner is aware. Tip: give your partner pointers about what to say or not say when a conversation drifts.
Avoid Exaggerating
Being nervous about bringing our significant other home can tempt us into highlighting or even exaggerating just how difficult our family can be because we think it will be make the experience less stressful. Unfortunately, this can backfire because we point out all these things ahead of time and bias our partner into noticing things they may otherwise have ignored. Instead of giving them a play by play, narrow it down to the ones that are most likely and make sure to balance these with some positives as well! The whole point is to prepare and not scare.
Prepare your family.
We can easily get caught up in preparing our partner that we forget about our family. Remember that they don’t know your partner so tell your family a bit about your partner’s background, experiences, and interests so that they can use this to guide the things they ask or talk about. How much you share is up to you, but give enough information so you can limit awkward moments or silences and help the conversation flow. Preparing your family ahead of time means you don’t have to mediate every step of the conversation.
Schedule some after Christmas loving
The run up to Christmas can prove stressful, so schedule some after care and connection time with your partner and this will give you both something to look forward to. For someone like me, I crave downtime as a couple, so I would schedule a meal at home and binge watch a TV series. You know your relationship so schedule something that works for both of you.
Be realistic but most of all enjoy!
We get so caught up in trying to make everything perfect that we miss out on the moment. The reality is that there is always a possibility that something may go wrong, but we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves and set unrealistic expectations. Doing this creates pressure that can distract from the actual experience. At the end of the day, the festive season is about spending time with the people we love most and the best thing we can do is to sit back, breath deeply, and focus on how special it is that the important people in our life are coming together to celebrate.
It’s a wrap for day nine! Don’t forget to follow me on all my social media platforms so you don’t miss out on any information!
See you tomorrow for Blogmas day Ten!
XO