There are many reasons why friendships end, but what do you do when an old friend wants to re-enter your life?
Social media has made it so easy for old friends and acquaintances to find us, but before you press that accept button, consider these things.
How Long Has It Been?
Let’s assume that a friendship ended after a bad argument, it makes a difference how long you have not been in contact with each other. The longer things are left unresolved, the harder it will be to reconnect. You may eventually get to a point where you’re done with the friendship and nothing done at this point can repair the friendship.
The length of time also makes a difference because things in your life will have inevitably changed as well. The standards you hold your friends to will also be different, you may be more selective or open about those you have around you. Letting someone in after a while may not be that easy.
How Did The Friendship End?
The way the friendship ends makes a difference in if you want to connect with the individual. Did you fall out after a fight? Or were you old school friends who just drifted apart?
It is easier to reconnect if you grow apart. A broken friendship however, will take some time to fix, wounds need to be fixed before a genuine connection can be made.
How Did They Contact You?
The way you’re contacted speaks to the type of relationship the individual wants to cultivate.
Facebook is a global way of keeping in contact with people, or just keeping tabs on what old school friends are up to. It’s been my experience that most people who connect with you via social media are not looking to develop deep relationships. However, if this individual is requesting dinner or some form of meetup, then you need to consider where they will fit in your life.
Where Are You Currently in Your Life?
My mum always told me that 20 friends cannot play for 20 years, meaning that not every friendship is meant to last forever and that’s not a dreadful thing. Every friend is supposed to teach a lesson and with constant life changes, some can grow with friends and others can grow apart.
No matter the reason, we appreciate the friendship for what it was without regret. We may wish to reunite with certain individuals, but we may be at points in our lives where going forward just isn’t feasible. We change, we grow, we learn and ultimately become different people, meaning that the reformed friendship will not be the same.
When an old friend contacts you, consider where you are in your life currently. Everyone you let into your life brings with them lessons for good and bad, make sure you think about this before you reconnect with anyone.
What would you consider when you receive these friend requests?