One day I found myself sitting on my bedroom floor crying. Why do I feel like I’m the only woman on earth who just can’t seem to get it together, I thought to myself in between discouraged tears. In between preparing for a work presentation, begrudgingly finishing my Morning Prayer routine, and trying to live up to my inner conviction of what a good daughter and girlfriend should be, I just stopped. Life was beautiful and I was working, I was building my business but I was fighting against the voices in my head whispering I should be perfect and that my life should be perfect. On that day, life was anything but perfect.
I started to think about the women who were shattering glass ceilings, sitting on executive boards, running Fortune 500 companies, being successful entrepreneurs and leading in all aspects of life. These women were making power plays, making it look so easy, they were just doing it all. Showing that you may just be able to have it all.
But on that day I am wondering what all is? What is the point of it all? My fear became one which found that ‘all’ may just be this vague idea of unconventional perfection. The more I find myself stepping into deeper levels of my careers and leadership, I’ve come to a conclusion I want my generation and the next to know, ‘all’ is all about sacrifice. You say you want it all, be prepared to give your all.
‘Stay the course, Ayo just stay the course…you made the commitment to take on new tasks, new roles and live a new lifestyle, you need to will yourself to stay the course.’ During my woe is me moment, I had to talk myself off the ledge. I could not afford to quit now, God had not destined me for defeat, more importantly I found myself reciting 2 Timothy 1:7 “ For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” My day to day did not consist of losing my mind.
I just needed to find a way to cope.
I am a very ambitious person, between being a Solicitor, a leader in ministry, a business owner, a friend, a daughter, a girlfriend, I’m constantly fighting this strain of balance. But what if balance is a myth? What if persistence is what is needed? What if instead of feeling like we needed to relinquish one responsibility for another, we made it work instead?
Single or married, young or old, mogul or student, anyone alive, there will be overwhelming times when we question the essence of our choices. Life is never polished and rarely ever will it be perfect, but like I committed to do that faithful day, hold your head up, refocus your heart, and remember that if God be for you, no man can be against you. Failure is not an option if failure is not a choice. Don’t choose failure.
No matter what is thrown at us, don’t give up. Just make it work. And guess what? It always does.